Oh, the conversations in my head today....

So the conversations I have had in my head today:

"You will not yell at inanimate objects, Mariah. You may not kick inanimate objects. You may, however, be pissed at it."

"Oh, how sad, no motorcycle for me because no international license." "Using a bicycle in this traffic is going to suck." "Wait, you are not comfortable riding a bicycle in this traffic where you can hit something at 4 mph but a motorcycle going 40 mph would be better?" "Yeaaah. I guess bicycle it is."

"Why do you think it is weird to write your name? You get new name for two weeks and the name you have written for 22 years is the weird one?"

"Well, they disregarded my lesson plans for yesterday when I was not here and did not make any copies of the worksheets I spent forever last week trying to make on Thai Microsoft word. Fine, I will not spend my four hours of planning today preparing for next week then." "Well, maybe I will just review so I will not look like an idiot. Okay, well the students should not be punished. Fine, I will only do some and not during every hour. Uggggh fine, I will do them all tomorrow. And then you go and volunteer to teach five extra classes after school each day. Mariah--are you sure you are not crazy?"

"You know how to speak in complete sentences. Even if they understand better if you speak in two word statements, no one else will speak to them in that way. Grrr. You just explained Charades as 1 person come front, pick paper, open, read, shhhh and act. Raise hand. 1,2,3 go! Facepalm."

"Great, I found where all the University boys hang out. And every single one of them laughed at me attempting to ride this bike without hitting everything in sight. Stay on the wrong side of the road and do not screw that up when you turn. Drive straight! Look, when you have to chose between holding your skirt down and taking a hand off the handlebars, chose the later. It is this stupid culture that wants you to do this in a skirt. Quit almost hitting cars because of your skirt. That is the third one you almost hit. Omg this stupid bike changes gears automatically, greeeeaaaat, why can't inanimate objects stay consistent?"

"It is sad when you find peace in an elevator, even when it is the only place in the school that is quiet. Yes, fellow teachers, I will never take the stairs. I need the elevator for my sanity."

"The teacher just rubbed my belly like Santa. So not cool."

And that is my day.